Khmer Wedding



Yesterday, I had the honor of attending the wedding of two good friends, Neth and Ata. It was the first traditional Khmer wedding I have been to. It began at 7:00AM with the "Parade of Fruit". Guests arrived at the church and we were each given a gold colored pedestal with fruit or soda wrapped in Saran wrap on top. From there we walked down the street in a line, carrying our pedestals in front of us. We arrived at a location down the street where the groom and groomsmen were standing in formal attire under gold umbrellas. We formed a line behind them - organized by types of foods; and then we paraded back to the church, entering through a large wedding tent that had been set up on the street just outside of the church. As we entered the tent we were handed a small, decorative envelope with money in it.

My "fruit" - orange soda




Neth and groomsmen leading the Parade of Fruit

 

Inside the church we placed our fruit on a rug that lay between two rows of hanging fruits. We then returned to the tent and sat down for a traditional Khmer breakfast that featured a healthy soup. From breakfast we returned to the church, sat by the fruit, and there were numerous blessings including a song with traditional Khmer dance that involved difficult backwards hand bending and slow, graceful movements. I recognized some words, but not enough to have a true sense of what all the blessings were. Some of the words I recognized translate, "God” - "Prayerong", “thank you” - "acoonchedon", “day” - "tongue eye", and “good" - "la'ah". These blessings and presentations went until 12:30. I noticed that in the back of the church there was a table set up with wedding photos (Neth said that they had a photo session the week before the wedding). There was also a photo booth set up in the back of the church; it was equipped with funny hats and glasses. The wedding colors were purple and white. Neth told me that Ata (his bride) was not feeling well, but she looked beautiful throughout the entire day and showed no visible sign of feeling weak. (Mara, Neth’s brother, was also feeling under the weather, but he was present taking pictures, doing various errands to make sure that everything ran smoothly, and he only showed feelings of joy and delight - for his brother and Ata.)
 

 

After the blessings the fruit was picked up and moved to the front of the church and the room is rearranged for photos. Young dancers in silk tops (some powder blue, others yellow) with green pants and wide belts gather to ready for performance. They carry bamboo poles. I later learn from the dance instructor that there are two parts to the dance – in the first part they are using the poles to symbolize rowing boats over to mountains and then from there they will travel through valleys and over mountains to find a medicine that cleanses and purifies for them for marriage. In the second part they have found the medicine and they are using the poles to crush the medicine, which they will touch it to their teeth for cleansing and they will also offer some medicine to their fiancée.  During the dancing a woman dressed in a beautiful sequined dress approaches me, speaking Khmer. I do not understand all of what she is saying and so I respond in Khmer that I am American and speak only a little Khmer. She acknowledges this, but continues speaking Khmer to me and she repeatedly points to her throat. I reply in Khmer “neohm Ott Yure” (I don't understand) and she walks away. Later, when the parents of the bride and groom are on the stage for photos, I see her on the stage for photos with Neth's parents and realize that she must be Ata's mother and she was probably trying to tell me that Ata was not feeling well and wanted me to pray for her. At this realization I close my eyes to continue praying for Ata and Mara as I have since learning that they were not feeling well.

 

Parents of the bride (right side) and groom (left side)

 

Dancers

 

Neth, Ata, and Pastor Jessie

There were a lot of clothing changes for the bride and groom and each of their outfits is absolutely amazing. There are parts of the ceremony very similar to  American weddings -the groomsmen and bridesmaids walking down the center aisle together in couples and the father of the bride escorting her down the aisle and presenting her, but the part that really moved me was after the ring exchange when the bride and groom together knelt before the parents and gave heartfelt thanks and a prayer. This was so respectful and very moving.

Following this ceremony we returned to the tent for lunch and then at 1:30 we took a break and many people went home for naps (I went to the gym). We then went to a building called Chenla (glass dome) at 4:30 where there was more music, singing, and dancing, plus a very exquisite Khmer dinner – I lost count of how many dishes we were served. Dancing followed dinner and I left a little after 9:00, but I am sure that it went well beyond then. I am told that the typical Khmer wedding lasts 7 hours. I sat at a table with the most interesting, fun people and one of them observed – so, you have had all three meals with the wedding today! I had not thought about that, but yes it is true and it is also the most Khmer food I have had in four months in Cambodia.  I have been blessed this weekend to be around a couple of expats who have really fallen in love with Cambodia and Cambodians. It is a blessing to experience their passion and love, and the joy that they have for being called to serve God in Cambodia. The table that we were seated at was near the front door and one of the expats made the observation that it was like watching the Academy Awards with people dressed so glamorously (most especially the women) and walking in on a red carpet. This person, a young doctor, has such a deep love for Cambodia and Cambodians - her peace and gratitude for being here is palpable. Two of the other people at the table were a married couple who were visiting the wife’s sister in Cambodia. They have been missionaries in Japan for 40 years. Now in their 80’s, they will be returning to the United States in December to be with their grandchildren. The wife was born in Japan and was interned (as a child) by Japan during WWII.  I spoke with her about the internment of my mother’s family and father’s father. Her heart for Japan and the love that she has for the country and Japanese people even after being interned is such a strong testimony of forgiveness and grace.

 

Chenla before dinner

Ata

 

 

A good friend and great man, Saweth